Those We Watch Over
by Archer83
Summary: Some heroes are born, others are made. Regardless of their origins, one thing is certain. No matter their reality, their past, or their unique circumstance, as long as there are those willing to fight in defense of the weak and the oppressed, true heroes will never die.
1. The World Could Always Use More Heroes

**Those We Watch Over**

**by: Vergil1989 the Crossover King and Archer83**

**Summary: **Some heroes are born, others are made. Regardless of their origins, one thing is certain. No matter their reality, their past, or their unique circumstance, as long as there are those willing to fight in defense of the weak and the oppressed, true heroes will never die.

**Disclaimer**: We own neither Bioware's Mass Effect trilogy, or the new Blizzard game, Overwatch. We're just overzealous fans, enjoying our time and our overactive imaginations, a little too much.

**Authors Notes:** _**Archer83:**_ _Okay folks, I gotta give Vergil a lot of credit for this one. I may have thought up a half remembered idea a long time ago and showed him the cinematic trailer for Overwatch, but Vergil was the driving force behind this idea. He's the one you can thank for this story's very existence. That said, if you hate it,_ _**cough**__, it's entirely his fault,_ _**cough**__. If you love it, well that was exactly what both of us were going for!_

_**Vergil1989:**_ _Hey! You can take half of the blame if they hate this you know! 'Sigh'. This is what happens when we stay up too late and I have one too many Mountain Dews in a row. I'm a lightweight, what can I say? In all seriousness though, if Archer hadn't found that clip and sent it to me on a whim, we wouldn't have thought of this grand new tale. There might not be a lot of information to go on for the new Blizzard game as of us posting this, but what there is on the official site for Overwatch just had my brain exploding with ideas, and this is the result. That said, we hope you guys and gals enjoy the story for what it is._

_That and Archer couldn't shut up about Tracer. Sounded like a total fangirl, he did._

"_**Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."**_

_**-Winston Churchill**_

**Chapter 1: The World Could Always Use More Heroes**

**The Citadel, Zakura Ward**

It all began with a direct call from the Council to her omni-tool. During her shore leave. _What a bunch of useless morons_. _Least Tevos is hot. Totally tap dat blue ass. Wonder how drunk I'd have to get ol' Garrus for a nice, chaffy threesome? _Was the first semi-drunken thought that came to mind.

Despite the fact they had made her life difficult after her death and subsequent revival though, Jessie Shepard, the first human Spectre, had an obligation to assist the Council and the people of the galaxy. There wasn't any question in her mind whether or not she would answer this latest interruption of her near quixotic quest to get as shitfaced as possible barhopping with Garrus and Tali. Because despite how the Citadel Council had tried to discredit all she had done for them when she had stopped Sovereign, she and her crew had taken up the mantle of being guardians for the galaxy. Even if the Council didn't deserve the help, innocent lives were at stake, and they didn't deserve to be gunned down by some nutjob with an ax to grind.

_Thane should be meeting Kolyat on the Presidum right about now...little extra firepower couldn't hurt. Hate to interrupt his time with his son though…. _Shepard sighed though, knowing that he'd have to catch up with Kolyat later as she finally slapped a hand on her wrist mounted omni-tool. "Joker, have Thane meet me by the Zakura Ward lift. We have a job to do in the market square." Jessie said into her comm link before she, the turian sniper, and the quarian genius mechanic took off, her semi-drunken state forgotten as adrenaline rushed through her cybernetically enhanced body. One benefit of being brought back from the dead was the handy body modifications.

"Any info besides the fact the Council decided to ruin our happy hour...hours, Shepard?" Garrus asked, a sly smirk on his face as he pulled his side arm off of his hip holster he kept on him at all times. "And I bet you don't think I'm a 'lightweight' now do you Shepard?"

Shepard chuckled at the comment, her crystal blue eyes shining brightly as she slid to a stop by the elevator that would get them down to the appropriate level. All they would have to do from there was run a few short blocks from the lift. "A hostage situation has developed in the market. Only tactical info we have is two hostiles and a kid caught in the middle." Shepard rolled her eyes at the turian, shaking off the last effects of her epic bender. "And you had _two _ales Garrus. That's practically the definition." She retorted as she brushed a hand through her brunette hair, getting a few strands out of her eyes in the process. _Really need to get a damn haircut again._

"She's got you there Garrus." Tali chortled before growing serious, her visor covered face locked on the Commander. "Anything else to go on Shepard? Not to sound rude, but this sounds like a job for C-Sec to me."

Any other day, Jessie would have agreed with her long time friend, but the Council's message had her worried. "From what I got from the Council, these guys are different from your average mercs. The words '**Extremely Hostile' **were in bold in the message. Twice. I guess we'll find out when we get there Tali. Just keep your eyes peeled and keep your heads down." Pulling her own side arm from a holster underneath her jet black dress, Shepard stepped into the elevator just as Thane slipped into the small compartment right behind Garrus. Only a nod passed between them as their eyes met, but it was enough to know the assassin was with them and ready for a fight.

"I'm not complaining, I'll take a gunfight in the Presidium over holding your hair for you in the bathroom any day of the week Shepard." Tali snarked before giving Thane a hidden smile. Despite the fact he could kill them all with his reptilian pinkies, the drell was a trusted ally and friend to them all.

"Damn it Tali... You beat me to it." Garrus sulked, making a last second calibration to his pistol.

Thane chuckled warmly, sending a pleasant chill down Jessie's spine as he caught onto the conversation almost immediately. "I have to agree with Ms. Zorah. You do tend to celebrate rather voraciously siha. However, the fact that you are not afraid to enjoy life so fully amidst all the darkness that surrounds us on a regular basis is admirable."

"And that is why I like you Thane. You at least understand the need to let your hair down. If you _had_ hair, that is." Jessie ignored the feigned gagging noises she could hear from Garrus as she kissed the drell, briefly, before pulling away from the assassin just as the elevator doors opened. "Let's go kick some ass and save a scared kid."

"Right behind ya Commander. I'm heading up for that overpass." Garrus said as he pointed to a bridge that overlooked the market square, offering plenty of cover for the skilled sharpshooter. Even without his sniper rifle, he was a crack shot with a pistol. He'd have plenty of chances to rain down hell on their opponents.

"Alright, if you get a shot, you take it Garrus. We need to get those hostages out of the danger zone." Jessie replied as she, Tali, and Thane started forward, letting Garrus get set up on overwatch.

"Really Commander?" A familiar sarcastic sing song tone came over their comms a split second later. "Danger Zo-"

"I swear to god Joker, I will waltz your ass all over the CIC if you break comm silence again." She didn't have to raise her voice to frighten Joker, the Normandy's ace pilot, into silence. Still, she had to smile despite the bad mood she was in, and continued forward, her pistol raised as she contacted Joker again. "Have EDI monitor all incoming comms chatter in the area. If anything comes up, patch us through."

"Patching in now Shepard." The AI replied, overriding Joker before he could try and get a word in edgewise. "C-Sec reports heavy fire coming from an office building across the Presidium's circumferential artificial lake five hundred and twenty seven meters west of your current position. Be advised, there are confirmed reports of at least one sniper, lightly armored but very accurate. At last count, nine C-sec officers have been wounded, two fatalities. They also report strange sightings of what is described as 'a moving cloud of black smoke' that has been seen in the general vicinity the sniper. Anyone who gets close to this 'smoke' is promptly gunned down by shotgun fire."

"Some kind of cloaking field we've never seen before?" Tali asked, her suit's sensors already primed and active for extensive sweeps across all spectrums. She hoped she might be able to break through whatever technology the cloaked gunman was using, before he found them next.

"What of the young hostage? Have they been harmed?" Thane inquired with a frown, not noticing the brief gleam in Shepard's eyes.

_Those bastards better hope I get to them before he does. _Shepard mused, knowing exactly what Thane was pondering. Killing those that would endanger children to protect themselves with methods not quite as fast or painless as he usually applied. He was the epitome of a surgeon with a sniper rifle, but it went far beyond that. Thane's body itself was a high precision scalpel, able to dismantle an opponent with pinpoint precision, and she knew his stance on endangering innocent bystanders. Who ever was behind this was going to die, painfully, but he'd be sure let them know it was about to happen first.

"Reports indicate that the hostage is, at present, unharmed and-" Shepard could easily make out Joker's concerned voice in the background clearly taking her threat seriously as he had decided to go through EDI instead of risking telling her something himself over the comm.

Jessie sighed as they ran across to the open market. "Just spit it out Joker."

"Commander, look up, at your ten o'clock!" Joker yelled, his tone of voice alerting her to the danger about to hit them.

Three things happened at once. Garrus didn't bother with a warning as he fired over Shepard's head, right into the heart of the 'smoke' that had started to rise out of the ground right in front of them. It disappeared, but not before it got a shot off, the resounding boom of a high powered shotgun their only warning as her team scattered at the last second. Finding cover was easy since there were a large number of abandoned transports and market kiosks all over the Presidium.

"That's new." Jessie deadpanned as the 'smoke' appeared again, before taking the form of a black clad man in a white, death like mask dual wielding shotguns of a type she had never seen before. _Those look interesting, might have to confiscate them after I slag his corpse. _ The 'smoke' still lingered, swirling and dancing around the gunman as if it had a mind of its own. Or as if it was being controlled by the man himself.

"Your needless theatricality and williness to take a child hostage is beyond distasteful." Thane muttered as he calmly aimed his pistol at the dark figure's head. "May Kalahira grant you mercy in the next life." He wasted no more time as he squeezed the trigger on his pistol, filling the air with several shots in the space of a few seconds.

To Thane's surprise, the gunman disappeared only to reappear several feet away just as his rounds got close. The gunman's retort was as short as it was disturbing. "Die. Die! DIE!"

"GET DOWN!" Shepard shouted as explosions rocked the heavy C-Sec transport she had decided to use as cover. Apparently she wasn't the only one that favored ammo mods since the gunman's shotguns started to spit out mini grenades with every pull of the trigger. "Damn, this guy is pissing me off already!" Shepard yelled before snapping out of cover, her pistol raised and aimed at the freak of nature. Time slowed down to a crawl as she used her adrenaline mod, dilating time around her before pulling the trigger. Round after high powered round disappeared into the black smoke surrounding the gunman, and she was mildly satisfied and disappointed that he had to jump back and duck behind his own cover by the time she was forced to let her gun cool off.

Another shot rang out from above and the whirling dervish of destruction promptly vanished into yet another billowing cloud of inky black smoke. "Scoped and dropped!" Garrus bragged, having forced the shadowy freak back further still, buying them some breathing room.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that mon ami." A female voice, a noticeable old Earth french accent, filtered through their comms before the sniper made herself known by taking a shot at Garrus. If not for a strange blue blurr and a timely jerk to the right, the bullet would have punched through his skull, leaving his brains on the deck. "I missed?! I never miss!" The woman shouted, but whatever she said next was interrupted when Tali cut her link to their comms a second later.

"Comms are clear Commander." The quarian replied before bringing her own weapon to bear on the distant sniper just as Garrus checked in.

"Shepard, watch for the sniper, fifth floor balcony, above the Fornax stand. She's good..." Garrus, normally one for banter, didn't stick around to give his female counterpart another chance to ventilate his skull as he took off with all speed to find another position that didn't make him a sitting varren. "This is a new experience, getting shot at by a scantily clad assassin." He muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

Tali's audible huff of annoyance could be heard over the background gunfire. "Funny how you noticed that, and not, say, what type of sniper rifle she has." The turian didn't need to see the young quarian to know she was shaking her head in disgust.

"Oh I did, didn't recognize it, but I want one. Has a nifty machine gun attachment." Garrus replied just as the sniper started unloading an entire clip in his general direction. "She certainly seems to like me. Why do all the crazy ones try to shoot me without buying me dinner first?" If not for the small, solid metallic barrier that was on the edge of the bridge he was running across, Garrus was sure he'd have been riddled full of holes already. As it was, only a few rounds found him, but his shield generator belt took the brunt of the damage that would have otherwise laid him low.

"The shadow's back Commander." Thane reported just as the black cloud materialized in the center of the square. Just as the gunman raised one of its weapons, Thane snap drew his pistol and shot the man in the chest several times, forcing the shadow bender back several steps.

"Take her out and I'll let you handle the interrogation Garrus." Shepard said as she nodded to Tali to activate her drone. She wanted to hit that shotgun toting freak on all sides. Turning to Thane, she silently gestured for him to try and get close the moment she started firing at the bastard again once her adrenaline mod recharged. She'd distract him, he'd bring the gunman down with extreme prejudice if that's what it took.

"You're on." Garrus replied, his smirk back in place as he climbed a ladder leading to a rooftop that was cluttered with a number of vents and air conditioning units, providing ample cover for the turian.

"Chitika, go for...anything solid." Tali hesitantly sent off her combat drone, warily eyeing the seemingly random path of the smoke cloud.

"Yes. YES! GIVE ME A CHALLENGE! How about a surprise?" Shepard froze up when she saw that the gunman had the young wiggling hostage held up by the back of his shirt. "Got you." Before she could duck back down, his shotgun snapped up. The resounding boom was all she heard before the red spray slammed into her kinetic shield, driving her back several feet. She hardly had time to breathe before he fired again, driving her back further. The second shot had her skidding across the metal deck on her back, and while she was dazed from the pounding, she was otherwise alright. That would change though if she didn't get to cover quick.

"Shepard's hit! Oh keelah, that dress is never going to be the same." To make matters worse, the gunman barely had to turn before he took out Tali's drone with a single shot before it could zap him.

"Glad you're so concerned about my formal wear Tali." Shepard muttered as she stumbled behind cover.

"Take him down Garrus!" Thane shouted, only to be driven back when the sniper took a shot at him as he tried to run to her side. The drell slammed his fist into the deck next to him in a rare show of frustration. "I'm pinned down! I can't reach Shepard!" The sniper was too far for him to use his biotics, and he wasn't sure what would happen if he used them against the gunman on the ground. It was never wise to mix two different types of energy together, the results could be...problematic.

"I can't get a clean shot!" Garrus shouted back. Between the shadow freak and the sniper, he couldn't concentrate on both without leaving himself open to one or the other.

_Well this sucks. _Shepard mused as she stumbled forward, not surprised to see flecks of red on her palm as she coughed into to her hand. Maybe she wasn't as fine as she thought. Her day became worse when she saw the red targeting laser from the sniper's weapon. "Oh gre-"

"Lemme go you big..._jerk_!" If she wasn't half conscious at the moment, Shepard would have been cheering the kid on as he desperately tried to wiggle free in the man's grasp. Landing a lucky strike to the side of the death mask with what looked to be a reinforced cast on his arm, the boy managed to distract and infuriate his stunned captor long enough to squirm free and dash away.

The sniper was oblivious to this as she centered her scope on the prone soldier's head, planning to cut the head off of this rather elite unit then and there. "You're mine." Just as she prepared to pull the trigger, the distinctive blue blur flashed in front of her scope. "YOU!"

"Coming through love!" Before Shepard knew what was happening, the blur slammed into her, and the next second, she was halfway across the street, behind the same transport she had been hiding behind earlier. Before Jessie could begin to wonder what had just happened, the blue blur was gone, having moved towards the death masked freak. "Hey mate, long time no see!"

"You….it's past time you met your end!" Before he could get a bead on her though, the blue blur had zipped away, twin submachine guns firing with every step until she had gotten out of range of the man's shotguns. The blur _giggled _at the heavily armed man before pointing at his belt. "Stop laughing!"

"This is so much fun though Reapster! Catch ya later!" The team got a glimpse of a spiky haired young woman giving the shotgun shadow bender a two finger salute before zipping away once more.

Thane had long since scooped up the boy in his arms and gotten him behind cover as he heard two distinct sounds. The tingling of metal and satisfied laughter. Looking down, he saw what could only be multiple grenade pins in the smiling boy's grasp. "Take cover!"

"No! I am death, I am IMMORT-"

The various thoughts that were racing through Thane's mind were cut off by the massive series of explosions that followed. The blue blur streaked to his side, taking the form of the same grinning woman who smiled and nodded to the boy. "Oh, an oldie but goodie that one is! Cheers!" Of the black smoke or the gunman, there was no trace when the blast cleared.

"Reaper! Reaper report! Blast!" The sniper growled, and was about to use her grapple gun to get away, until a massive shadow fell over her. She froze for only a moment, but it was enough.

"You aren't going anywhere Widowmaker!" One massive paw slammed into her midriff, forcing her over the balcony she had been using before she slammed onto the bottom floor in a disorganized heap. Following in her wake was the biggest, and easily the second angriest gorilla Jessie had ever seen, covered in armor from head to waist. Before the sniper could bring her gun to bear, the giant ape knocked it from her hand and grabbed her by her throat, bringing her up to his level. "This fight is over!"

Lunging towards the flying weapon, Garrus cradled it in his talons like a long lost lover. "Thanks for the new toy. I'll be sure to take _good _care of her." The scathing look the pale, grey skinned woman shot him could have cut through the Normandy's armor like a hot knife through butter.

"Don't get too attached mon ami! This is just the beginning!" Widow shouted back before shoving a grenade into the gorilla's open mouth. Dropping her as a thick, billowing green cloud enveloped them, Widowmaker grappled up to a nearby building before the toxic cloud could affect her as well.

What could only be described as a window shatteringly loud coughing fit and roar of pure rage soon followed. "Winston! Calm down mate, Widow's toxin's gonna be the end of ya if ya don't calm down!" The spiky haired girl said as she rushed to his side, concern etched in her green orange ski goggle covered eyes, and strangely enough, the big ape complied.

"Left pocket, back side. Get it done old friend." Winston said as he tried to reach for the indicated pouch on his armor himself. Whatever had been in that grenade though was making his fingers slow, unresponsive, and if Shepard didn't know any better, she'd say his vision was already failing him. Ripping open the small compartment, the comparatively tiny woman reached in and pulled out a ridiculous big hypodermic syringe filled with a purplish substance.

"Just think happy thoughts Winston." Without the slightest hesitation, she jammed the needle into the side of the ape's thick neck before pushing the plunger down as fast as she could. Shepard and her allies had to cover their ears at the roar of pain the gorilla let out at the rather vicious way the small girl had stabbed him with whatever antidote had been in that syringe. "There we go love, all better right?"

Winston glared at her, squinting his brown eyes. "Ow. You know that's supposed to be injected into my gluteus maximus right?"

"Oops. Sorry, was a bit more concerned with savin' your life big guy." The woman giggled, casually tossing the used vail behind her as if disposing of incriminating evidence.

"Can someone start making some sense?" Garrus said as he walked up to the strange duo, his new sniper rifle held up against his shoulder. "Who are you for starters? Not that we don't appreciate the assist. Love that accent of your's by the way, are all brazilian Earth women so beautiful?"

"Hehe, wrong continent mate!" The cheerful pipsqueak next to the giant ape informed the turian sharp shooter. "Tracer's the name, shootin' bad blokes in the face is my game. Good friends 'o mine just call me Lena. Captain Lena Oxton. This oversized friend of mine is Winston. Genius inventor, even if he is a little on the hairy side."

"Hey!" Winston grunted before turning to rest of the group. The sheepish look on his face was strange to see after how ferocious he had appeared just a few minutes earlier. "Umm, could you point us to your nearest transdimensional portal by any chance? We have two young gentlemen to get safely back to their families."

Garrus responded to that unique question with all his vast technical knowledge. "Huh?"

"I'll take this one Garrus." Jessie said as she looked towards the rather polite gorilla, two thoughts she never believe she'd have cross her mind in the same sentence. Despite the insanity of the day, she managed to keep her cool. The odd duo had just saved their lives after all. "Sorry big guy, but we're all out of portals at the moment."

"That. Was. Awesome!" The boy, who had been silently staring in awe at everyone and everything around him loudly exclaimed as he jumped into the air.

"Timmy!" The small group quickly parted as another teenaged human boy, wearing a blue hoodie and a pair of gray pants. Out of all of them, he looked the most mundane as he scooped the younger boy up and hugged him tightly before turning to point an accusing finger at 'Tracer'. "I can't believe you did that to me! Leaving me with that big stupid talking jellyfish and- " The older of the two humans stopped and stared at the assorted aliens and their apparent leader in dumbfoundment. "Great, just _great_."

"Wow! That is the coolest looking alien I've ever seen!" Despite having been the one held hostage by the gunman, the younger of the two brothers was practically bouncing off the walls as he squirmed away from his brother's protective grip and hopped up and down excitedly. Thane and Tali blinked at the young boy's enthusiasm while Tracer giggled into her hand at the sight. "This is so cool! Guess how many aliens I've seen in like...twenty minutes!" He held up seven fingers for emphasis. "Can we stay Brian?! Can we can we can we?!"

"Can you shut up for two seconds Timmy?! I'm trying to think!" Tracer swatted the back of the teen's head with a gloved hand. "What was that for?!"

"For bein' a proper jerk to your kid brother. Thought that much was obvious. Ya need to relax mate, there's no need to cause a ruckus. We're all in this together after all." Jessie shared a look with her companions, having considered doing that herself, but Tracer had beaten her to it. It was probably just as well though, she might have cold clocked the kid by accident.

"Indeed, there's no need to be rude to your brother young man. We are all trapped here until we can find a way home." Winston said before gently pushing the two apart and turning to Shepard. "Our apologies for dragging you into this confrontation ma'am. Suffice it to say, if not for the intervention of these two, we might not be having this conversation."

Timmy nodded so rapidly Shepard was half worried he was going to give himself whiplash as he launched into a detailed explanation, even providing them with sound effects. "Yeah! Brian was so awesome when he found Sidewinder's portal gun after he used Doomfists's gauntlet on Widowmaker! First he zapped Widowmaker, then Reaper! Zzzzaaaapppp, ZZZaaapppp! But then the gun exploded with a big VVVRROOSHH! and we all went through this flashy tunnel! This is the best birthday party ever!"

Shepard grinned, finding Timmy's actions entertaining. Turning to the older of the pair, she found it rather cute Brian was blushing as he tried to hide his face under his hoodie. "Really? That's pretty brave of you kid."

"So courageous, and you're only, what twelve human years old?" She had to stop Tali from outright hugging the boy, he looked mortified and shocked enough as it was.

"I'm fifteen! ...I was just protecting my annoying little brother. I don't see what the big deal is" Brian replied quietly and rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't think it would do all this."

"You don't need superpowers to be a hero." Winston replied sagely and nodded his head, as if agreeing with his own statement.

"Sometimes you just need to be in the right place, at the right time, and press the wrong bloomin' button." Tracer admonished the boy, putting one hand on her hip while the other rested against her jaw. "Huh. Maybe that's why the sign said 'Do not touch.'"

"I could have let Widow shoot you instead you know. Instead of redirecting her shot at the last second." Brian grumbled, but there was no bite to his words as he crossed his arms over his chest. He frowned at the barely contained smile hidden behind her hand. "And you're totally messing with me, aren't you?"

"Took ya long enough mate. Sidewinder always did complain about it glitchin' up though. Guess this was what he meant." Tracer replied as she waved her arms as if to encompass the entire Citadel.

"Uh huh. I take it this is the norm for you folks?" Shepard asked, and wasn't all that surprised by the answer she got.

"Pretty much mate. Where we're from, things are a tad bit different. Heroes like me and the big guy still fight the good fight though!" She quickly glanced around the massive artificial construct that was the Presidium. "Nice place. Bit overdone though, ain't it? ...Are there fish in that lake? Could go for a bit of fish an' chips I could!"

"Heh, I knew there was a reason I liked you." Garrus chuckled as he held out his hand to the blue blur returning from a far off railing by the lake. "Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec officer. My friends here are Tali'zorah vas Normandy, Thane Krios, and Commander Jessie Shepard. And sorry, no fish, but you wouldn't be the first one to ask that."

"No worries mate. And it's nice to meetcha all." Tracer replied as she shook the officer's taloned hand eagerly before turning to her own friend. "Winston, hows 'bout you start whipping up some gadgets and what's-its and get us home? I'll treat the lads to a nice meal, I will. Come back in say 'bout an hour?"

"With what exactly? I have no tools, no equipment, and no resources!" Winston huffed in irritation, before giving the petite firespite a guilty look. "Sorry Tracer, but it might take far longer than you believe to get us out of this mess." Winston hung his head, but he perked up when Tracer put a hand on his cheek and tapped him playfully on the chin.

"No worries then love. We'll just make do with what's at hand. In the meantime, ya must be starving right? Say Garrus, anywhere we can get a bite?"

Garrus rubbed at the back of his fringe, mildly freaked out at her very casual approach to dealing with another species she clearly had never seen before. "Um, you aren't going to at least ask me about the mandibles?"

Tracer merely shrugged and flashed him a grin. "Very manly looking they are. As for why we ain't all collywobbles over the view, might as well call it 'aliens invading Tuesday' for us mate. But don't worry, not all of you blokes are bad news."

"Fascinating. That explains everything rather succinctly." Thane offered with a respectful nod of his head.

"You're...a talking Earth gorilla..." Was the only thing a dumbfounded Tali could think to say after pulling her attention away from the two boys to openly stare at Winston.

Jessie gently patted the girl on the back before turning to Winston, an apologetic look on her face for the quarian's reaction. "You'll have to forgive Tali, little slow on the uptake when it comes to inexplicably strange things happening to us for no reason. Should really be used to it by now I suppose. Although I'll admit this is a first for me too."

Winston ambled over to the suited woman and gently took her right hand in his. "Hmm, hermetically sealed environmental suit, complete with shield generators, emergency induction ports, and combat armoring. It's a pleasure to meet you." Shepard couldn't hold back the yelp of laughter that burst from her when the giant lightly pressed his lips to the back of Tali's gloved hand. "I seem to have missed something."

"She's not as funny as she thinks." Tali said as she glared at the Commander, having recovered some semblance of her composure. "Let's just say that this is the last thing I expected to have happen today. And I don't mean seeing a talking gorilla."

"I'm actually a genetically modified cross between various primate species, but that's an easy mistake to make. Suffice it to say madam, I was the genius level intellect behind our former group Tracer and I were a part of, Overwatch." Winston replied, his brown eyes practically gleaming despite the strange situation he found himself in.

"I know a certain salarian scientist who would enjoy spending some time with you if you're half as smart as you claim Winston." The distant sound of approaching sirens drew Jessie's attention before she turned back to the odd foursome. "I don't know about you folks, but I don't feel like trying to explain this one to the local authorities. Do you?"

Tracer looked over her shoulder towards Winston, her grin giving way to a thoughtful expression. "Whaddya think big guy? Should we trust the fiery little minx and her chums? Seem like good folk to me."

"Hmm." Winston murmured quietly as he stroked his broad, fur covered chin.

"Well, if it helps, my ship has it's own laboratory and we'd be happy to-" She never got a chance to finish her line of thought as Winston interrupted her with a raised paw. _Well that was easy. He's like a bear with honey...or high end scientific equipment._

"Let's go with them." Winston was already shoving his petite companion towards Shepard.

Can we come to?! Can we can we can we?" Brian could only sigh as his brother jumped up and down, waving his hands around in excitement. "We came with them, we're staying'with them! Somebody's gotta keep them from getting in trouble."

"These two _did _render timely assistance." Winston agreed, chuckling at the younger of the two boys before ruffling Timmy's hair gently.

"A rather difficult logic to argue against Shepard." Thane whispered to her with the faint hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I didn't plan to leave you two here anyway." Shepard replied, chuckling softly at the exuberant Timmy as she knelt down to his level. "I just have two rules if you're staying on my ship kiddo. Try and stay out of trouble yourself while you're keeping an eye on these two." Her crystal blue eyes mischievously flicked to Winston and Tracer. "And second, having dessert is mandatory in the mess hall."

"Huh?" It was the first time Timmy had anything on his face that didn't resemble a giant grin.

"She means where they eat." Brian explained.

"Oh! Thanks!" And like a switch being flipped, the grin was back. "There's ice cream right?!"

"You know you're going to regret this right Shepard?" Tali asked, a twinkle in her silver gray eyes despite her statement.

"Nah, besides, if he gets into trouble, I can dump him into the airlock for a few hours of solitary." The young boy's grin vanished in an instant before he dashed over to the massive gorilla and grabbed his leg for dear life.

"She's gonna shoot me into space!" He managed a brave glare from behind the gorilla's giant forearm. "Smash her Winston!"

"Wait, what? No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Jessie hurriedly said as Tracer shook her head at the marine and sighed.

"Wow. Probably a bad time to say 'That was a joke' Shepard. Honestly, you're like an over the top villainous pirate out of some horrible B holovid." Garrus muttered, shaking his head at his mortified commander.

"Yours is truly a maternal spirit siha." Thane quipped, just barely able to stop from chuckling at the scene before him.

"It's Shepard, what do you expect? She shoots mercs and giant death machines for a living." Tali deadpanned, a wide grin plastered on her face. "Don't worry, we'll protect you from Commander Grumpy Bosh'tet." With a nod to the turian, Tali and Garrus nudged past a facepalming Shepard.

Tracer had started to walk backwards besides the group, her hands folded behind her head and her perpetual grin on her face. "Don't have much experience with kids do ya ma'am?"

"I like kids. They just don't like me much." Jessie retorted, and sighed at the amused looks on her comrades' faces. "Okay, so I don't know how to handle them. You happy?"

"Never would have guessed." The older boy grumbled, but managed a small smile a moment later. "Still, thanks for letting us tag along until this gets sorted out. I'll try and keep Tim outta your hair."

At this point, Shepard turned to see the several dozen C-Sec officers staring blankly at the scene before them in open mouth, or mandibled, shock. She did the only thing she could think of and activated her omni-tool, displaying her Spectre authority. "Spectre business, I want a complete forensic rundown and full report on the scene ASAP. I want to know what we were shooting at. As for these four, I'll, ah, be taking them into protective custody." Shepard's eyes flicked to the younger boy warily staring up at her. "Which is really a very good thing in your case kid, I promise." _It's a hell of a lot better than them strapping your big friend here to a dissection table and tossing the flakey brit in a padded cell while they stripped apart her toys. Not to mention the Alliance's piece of shit foster care system...ah memories._

Winston said nothing as he observed a range of emotions pass over the human woman's face, but he still noted them as he watched the C-Sec officers let them pass. Not without a lot of questioning, and more than a few confused looks, but they still let them go. _Her Spectre status must mean a great deal in this space-time continuum. Interesting._ He was happy to see that Tracer had a similarly thoughtful look on her face, but he would expect nothing less from his long time friend and companion.

But he sighed when he saw her gaze fix upon one of the rather alluring blue skinned women amongst the officers. He could practically hear Tracer's thoughts as he looked at her stunned visage. _Those blue squid ladies look so glamorous in spiffy unis! Wonder if I might chat one of em up later..._

"Um..." Shepard felt the sudden urge to clear her throat. It seemed her 'Commander' voice wasn't cooperating today. "Let's move out people."

"Let's move out blah blah blah. I am a bossy jerk that likes to be mean." Timmy gruffly mocked as the Spectre hung her head and sighed before marching towards the nearest aircar terminal. She was just grateful most of them were automated these days, trying to explain a talking gorilla to a cab driver was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Shut up Timmy! Don't make the people with tons of guns angry." The fact he was looking at Shepard when he said it didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

Timmy's reply wasn't exactly original as he stuck his tongue out. "No you shut up!"

_I need a drink. Or better yet, lock myself and Thane in my quarters for the next eight hours. Hmm, not a bad idea. Let's see how Commander Grumpy Bosh'tet's mutineers like playing babysitter. _Shepard's plan was blown to hell as Timmy held out of his arms expediently in front of Thane and the drell hesitantly scooped him up before putting him on his right shoulder. _Damn. There goes that idea._


	2. Adjustments and Awkwardness

**Chapter 2: Adjustments and Awkwardness**

**Citadel Private Docks**

_**Normandy**_ **SR-2, Captain's quarters**

**Two hours later...**

Shepard grinned up at Thane as she flopped down on her bed, elated that he had slipped away from their new guests, telling them he had other pressing matters to attend to. _Bless Thane's fine drell ass, I certainly do need a lot of attending. _

Remembering the ceaseless questions Timmy had been relentlessly asking Tali and Garrus as she practically ran for the elevator as fast as dignity would allow to avoid the unholy wrath of one Doctor Karin Chakwas, Shepard scrunched up her face in excited confusion, doing a passing imitation of the young boy. "What's this orange glowy thing do Tali?! Can I see the really big guns Garrus?! Why aren't we floating Tali?! Why can't I fly the ship Garrus?! Why does the man with the hat look so grumpy?! Why is that blue holo-ball thingy staring at me?! Gotta say, the look on Joker's face when the airlock opened was priceless. EDI's too. Never thought she could go that long without asking _me_ a question. 'I am...unable to compute these new variables...'"

Jessie chuckled to herself as she sat down on the edge of her bed before throwing her shoes off. Her black dress was in tatters, an unsalvageable wreck for a woman who took pride in salvaging damn near anything that 'looked useful'. Aside from that, a few ribs had been cracked even with her kinetic barriers holding back the worst of the withering assault, but seeing Joker's face had made it all worth while.

Chakwas had taken care of her ribs in her usual blunt and efficient fashion, after thoroughly examining their young guest's of course, announcing they were both going to make a full recovery with one of her patented reassuring smiles. In Shepard's humble opinion, the only thing that the older of the two boys, Brian, had managed to damage was his ego. As for Timmy, a light application of medi-gel, a new cast far less 'horribly unhygienic' as Chakwas had labeled the lime green number she tossed in the incinerator, and he would be as good as new in a few days. Considering he had expected to wear the thing another week, the boy had literally jumped for joy, something he seemed willing to do at the drop of a hat.

While they had insisted on keeping an eye on the boys, Tracer and Winston were less than cooperative when it came to Doctor Chakwas' medical demands. But luckily for them, Karin didn't seem to be in the mood to argue the point with a six hundred pound overly polite gorilla. Something that Jessie knew full well wasn't going to be phasing the physician the next time she believed either of them to be in need of her ministrations. The doctor always won in the end, resistance to her gentle care was, as she'd happily point out, futile.

As for Joker, once he had gotten his jaw off the deck, he had managed to introduce himself to Lena Oxton and her friends. He had looked ready to shit a brick when she had returned with Winston, Tracer, and their two young charges, but after his initial shock had worn off, he had gone back to his usual grumpy, sarcastic self. Shepard would be lying if knocking the pilot's hat off after he pointed out that "My baby's a sleek, sexy can of whup ass, not some tourist cruise." hadn't felt a little hypocritical. Shepard's response to _that _comment had been to sic Lena on him, and last she checked, she was still driving Joker up a proverbial wall.

Thane shook his head at the amused woman before him, an emotion she rarely allowed herself of late. "Siha, cruelty does not suit you."

"I disagree." Shepard's smirk fell, replaced by a slight frown, otherwise known as her default expression when she was focusing solely on being 'The Commander'. "Besides, you saw the look on the kid's face, I terrified him. Guess that's the only thing I'm really good at." Shepard sighed as she removed her ruined dress and slipped into crew shirt and cargo pants, staring at the deck in front of her. "My childhood wasn't exactly all sunshine and rainbows, I don't need to make someone else's worse by mistake."

"So you decide to let your crew of Cerberus operatives, assassins, criminals, mercenaries, and thieves have free reign with such impressionable youths." Thane deadpanned, just able to hide the smirk that threatened to appear on his face. "A wise course of action indeed."

"When you put it like that, you make me feel even worse. And also more than a little worried." Shepard replied, suppressing a shudder that wanted to pass through her as she sat up, a hand on her right side as a brief tinge of pain reminded her of her injuries.

Before she could so much as close her crystal blue eyes, EDI's omnipresent avatar appeared in her quarters. "Your presence is requested on the engineering deck Shepard. I was asked to relay a message to you from a member of the crew. Message follows."

A very familiar harsh whisper instantly filled the cabin. "If you don't get these damn brats away from me I swear I'll-I'll...just get down here Shepard!"

"Message ends." EDI helpfully added, making Jessie's stomach drop through the deck.

_Oh shit. Jack. _Shepard held her head in her hands before jolting upright. _I need to get those two away from her before she, well...does anything else around them._ "Please tell me they're still in one piece EDI."

"May I ask who are you specifically referring to Shepard?" Jessie's icy glare could have melted steel as EDI's avatar paused for a moment. "If by 'they' you mean the two juvenile human males who recently boarded, then yes, they remain completely unharmed." The amused tone in the AI's voice was hard to miss. "As for the sapient primate, Doctors Mordin and Winston are having quite the lively discussion about the benefits of biomechanical engineering. Tracer is currently speaking with Garrus. I believe the term 'shooting contest' was mentioned the next time they disembark. I estimate that she will continue exploring the ship and conversing with the crew using her unique teleport abilities in approximately...two point five seconds ago." Shepard was already running full tilt out of her quarters long before the AI had finished. Thane frowned and shook his head, lounging on her couch before picking up the datapad he had been reading.

_It's official, if Hell exists, I'm going there. Probably be forced to listen to Williams laugh her ass off for eternity. _Slamming her fist on the elevator control, she glanced at the level indicator, still on the hangar deck. _Damn it. Innocence is dying as I speak._ She had the emergency access panel off seconds later and had started sliding down the ladder on the inside of the elevator shaft. Less than a minute and several decks later, she had just kicked a panel out of the way before she clambered out of the shaft. Shepard froze when she saw a blue glowing fist slam into the bulkhead just shy of her face, leaving a noticeable dent in the hardened alloy. What was more amazing was that the ship's resident 'psychotic biotic' actually had a shirt and a decent pair of skintight pants on, covering up the vast majority of her tattoos and the simple straps she normally favored.

"Shepard?! What the he- heck are you doing sneaking around your own ship?! I almost caved your damn face in!" Jack growled before pulling Jessie the rest of the way out of the access port.

Timmy was predictably jumping and waving his arms around in excitement. "Cool! Do it again! Do the glowy trick again!" He pointed and laughed at the _Normandy's _now smudged and frowning Commanding Officer. "The look on your face was- BAHAHAHAHA!" Shepard somehow managed not to vaporize the young boy on the spot with a glance.

"Maybe later squirt." Jack shot over her shoulder before smirk-glaring at Jessie. "You have about two seconds to explain why you're crawling around in vents. And you look like sh-...you need a shower." The ex-con gripped Shepard by the collar and pulled her close, leaning towards her to whisper harshly into her ear. "And why the _fuck_ are there two brats bothering me?! They're asking me damn questions and touching my shit Shepard! Do something!"

"It's because _someone _can't stay put for two minutes." Brian grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at the two, having pushed his brother towards Jack's bed. "We were talking with Tali, she offered to show us engineering, but I look over my shoulder less than two minutes into the tour and Tim's gone. That's how we wound up here."

"Hey! Jack is _way _cooler than some smelly, greasy engines!" Timmy shouted from the dark cubby hole that Jack called home aboard the ship.

An indignant gasp caught everyone's attention as Shepard turned to see Tali standing at the foot of the stairs, her silvery eyes narrowed to thin slits. "They aren't smelly _or _greasy you little bosh'-oh...sorry Shepard, I-I got distracted after I promised to show..._our guests_ the drive core and...I should just go." Tali muttered as she hung her head in shame and quietly headed back up the stairs to the engineering deck.

Brian promptly jabbed his brother in the arm and pointed towards the retreating quarian. "Ow, why'd you-oh. Tali...I'd really like to see your nice clean engine...that doesn't smell...at all."

"Drive core. Sucking up to me are we? I'll have to thank your brother for that." Tali shot the grumbling Timmy a grin before turning to his older brother and the frowning Jack. "Am I interrupting something?" She did a double take at Jack's unnaturally non nonexistent attire. "Are you actually wearing clothes? Is this that 'opposite day' ritual Joker was telling me about?"

"Hey Buckethead? Want me to rip your suit open so little Timmy can see his first quarian face to face?" Jack hissed, her brown eyes shining menacingly in response.

"Cool! ...Wait, wouldn't that be _bad_? Tali said the suit protects her from germs and stuff." The small boy's face scrunched up in concerned confusion, which was unnervingly similar to her impression for Shepard's taste. "Bad glowy lady! Bad!" It was all Jessie could do not to give an amused snort at the impossibly ridiculous scene before her as Timmy pointed his finger at Jack with a disappointed look.

"Oh _brother_." Brian groaned and slammed a hand against his face in embarrassment before physically dragging his brother away from the dumbfounded convict. The last thing he needed was for her to turn little Timmy into a fine mist.

"Play nice." Shepard managed to get out after calming down somewhat, a grin still plastered on her face. "I think I'm going to promote Timothy here to official _Normandy_ babysitter." Shepard said to the biotic before shrugging at Tali's question. She discretely leaned closer to the quarian's auditory suit inputs. "Never woulda guessed that Jack had a maternal instinct. But as impossible as that concept is to fathom, seems to be pretty much the case here."

"Ha, that's hilarious you fu-nny funny Commander _ma'am_. Shouldn't you be showing them around the ship, or giving lessons on how to walk a turian grandma across the street?" _Or doing anything that will get them out of my fucking room?_ Her frowning brown gaze practically shouted.

"Nah, you're a lot more fun than I am Jack. Wanna know something _really_ cool guys? Jack can make people fly with her mind..." _Usually into walls at excessive speed. _Shepard mentally added, taking great satisfaction as Jack's smirk vanished. "Have fun you three."

"You are _so _dying again for this Shepard." Jack growled in the back of her throat, but Jessie merely grinned as Timmy practically bounced on the balls of his feet in excitement at the prospect of seeing her lift something with her powers.

She didn't get halfway up the stairs before Brian caught up with her. "Excuse me ma'am? Is-is she safe to be around?" He asked after making sure Jack wasn't within earshot.

Jessie nodded her head, understanding his worry. "Trust me kid, if I thought Jack might actually do anything to hurt you, I wouldn't let you or your kid brother anywhere near her." _The fact I have engi- Drive Core lubricant and grease in places I don't want to think about from scrambling down four decks is entirely beside the point..._ "She's rough around the edges, but she's come a long way since I first met her. I know you haven't been around any of us for long, but let's just say I know how to read people."

"Right. And you totally weren't trying to spy on us, you just like to crawl through vents for fun?" Brian deadpanned, having read her expression like an open book.

"Yup. Good cardio." The teen crossed his arms and gave an unnervingly familiar glare. "Okay fine, only one person on this ship crawls through the air ducts purely for fun." Jessie's smirk quickly morphed to a wry frown at her mention of Kasumi. "Um... On a completely unrelated note, if you happen to lose anything, ask Kasumi Goto about it. Looks like a petite Sith Lord, you can't miss her." She took a moment to truly look at Brian in the eye before cocking her head to the side. She was honestly surprised by how calm he seemed, how well he was holding it together. When he noticed her staring, he took a step back, but Shepard waved off his concern. "I'm just trying to figure you out Brian. Most people would be freaking out by now, but you've hardly blinked this whole time. Whatever your world was like, I'd still be a little more weirded out by space marines, aliens and starships."

"Tracer said it best." Brian muttered with another apathetic shrug, his to-go response apparently. "Yeah, we might not be able to go home again if Winston can't pull something out of his furry backside, but this is actually kinda _boring_ compared to the crazy stuff we dealt with back home all the time. Omnic robots trying to take over the world _kinda _puts an alien girl in a suit to shame. Overwatch got together, brought people from all over to fight them, and things just got weirder after that. Until they were shut down, we were exposed to all kinds of stuff from giant monsters to alien invasions, both friendly and otherwise."

"Gotcha. Guess this _would _seem pretty tame by comparison then." Shepard crossed her arms then and leaned against the wall of the stairwell. "Despite all that, I'd say you're holding up pretty well."

"Gotta be calm and cool for Tim. He might drive me nuts, but he's my baby brother." Brian replied with another shrug of his shoulders.

"He's lucky to have a brother like you." Shepard nodded her head again, having expected nothing less from Brian for some reason. Something about his calm veneer reminded her of herself at that age. "Well, you certainly have your priorities straight Brian. This _is _a warship, not exactly an ideal place for kids, but it's….complicated. My point still stands though, I wasn't kidding about keeping yourselves outta trouble. But beyond that, until this mess gets sorted out, you'll be safe with my crew. I can promise you that."

"Yeah, got that impression when What's-Her-Name shoved us back and almost pulverized you." The teen's sarcastic grin faded as another thought occurred to him. "Won't you get into trouble for keeping Tracer and Winston around? They aren't exactly-" He trailed off, trying to find the right way to say what he was getting at.

Jessie got the hint and shrugged. "Normal? I don't answer to the authorities, well most of them anyway. Just one of the benefits of being a Council Spectre. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch, think James Bond in space."

"Gotcha. Licence to kill, special access to all the best toys? Have a Moneypenny around here somewhere?" Brian asked with a smirk and a nod of his head.

"Ha, you catch on quick. Stick around kid, you might see a few things to tell your friends about later." After a moment of thought, Jessie shot Brian a smirk before speaking further. "And I do sort of have someone like that, less british agent, more badass reptilian assassin." Shepard managed to surprise herself with the glowing pride in her voice.

"Wait, frog face? Eww." At the glare Jessie shot towards him for the rude comment, Brian rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Right, sorry. I saw what he did for Tim, tell him thanks for me when you get the chance."

Jessie grinned and shook her head, a familiar mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Oh no, you can tell Thane yourself. Unless you're intimidated by the general air of calm deadliness he exudes." Shepard shrugged. "It's sort of his thing. Don't let it bother you, he's actually very sweet, in a quiet, thoughtful way. He even has a son a few years older than you."

Brian raised his eyebrows at that interesting bit of news but didn't comment on it. "He's certainly better than Reaper any day of the week. I'd rather deal with your assassin boyfriend than that psychotic shotgun toting freak of nature." Shepard couldn't blame him for his anger at the white masked, shadow manipulating bastard they had gone toe to toe with. It hadn't helped that he had held Brian's brother hostage, allowing him to get a few shots off against Shepard in the process.

"Reaper, sounds like a charming guy. Has the Council dismissed the claim he shot up the Presidium?" Brian glanced up at a snort of laughter from the shadows, jumping back, right into Shepard. "Aww. I like this one Shep, he's like an adorable little varren cub."

EDI decided to comment that the Council had already issued a number of arrest warrants for the duo that had shot up the Presidium. The list was as various as it was long.

Kasumi didn't get a chance to comment on that bit of news before she was interrupted. "Hey! I am _not_ adorable! And _I _don't hide in the dark like some... some scared little-" Brian let out an almost girlish yelp of fear when he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. Shepard rolled her blue eyes and gave the boy a gentle shove.

"You were saying?" With a flicker of blue light, the ship's resident kleptomaniac dramatically appeared behind the startled boy, a wry grin on her tattooed lips. "I didn't know you were recruiting a ship mascot and his sidekick, Shepard. Jack looked torn between running for the elevator and banging her head against the wall after you left her with the cuter, and _braver_ of our interesting duo here. Your brother I take it?"

"Yeah. Tim has that effect on people." Brian warily said, taking a step back from the hooded woman as she started to invade his personal space.

"And yet from what I heard, Brian right? You went out of your way to protect him from those two psychos from your world. For a scrawny kid, you've got guts. Keep it up kid. Bravery like that will make any woman interested when you get a bit older. Just a bit of useful advice." Kasumi all but purred, grinning when she saw the red tinge to the young boy's cheeks.

Jessie felt it was time to step in as she finally spoke up in Brian's defense. "Let's not give him any ideas Kasumi."

Kasumi playfully pouted in response. "Aww, why not?"

A loud, joyfully giggling distracted Kasumi's paramour-in-training as Brian quickly went back to check on his brother. Only to find him literally being twirled around the small room by a bored looking Jack. At least she was trying her best to look bored, but a subtle smirk pulling at her lips said otherwise as she gave the laughing boy a sideways glance to be sure he didn't bump into anything while he floated four feet off the deck, the customary blue field of energy surrounding Timmy from head to toe. Before Brian could ask what was going on, Shepard chuckled at the sight and gently nudged him in the side. "Let's just say you have your empowered superheroes and villains, and we have a few of our own kid."

Brain stared at the bald, tattooed woman for a moment, before watching his laughing brother. _If Tim likes her, she can't be that bad. _"I'm going to say she's a bit of both." Brian finally said after crossing his arms over his chest.

"And you'd be right." Shepard told him with a knowing gleam her eyes.

"This. Is. Awesome! Vrrooomm!" All the young boy was missing was a red cape as he struck his right arm out and serenely sailed across the compartment.

Jessie decided to take pity on the biotic as she gestured toward the elevator. "That's enough showing off for today Jack. Who wants to go to the mess for some chow?"

"Aww!" Timmy's disappointment instantly morphed into another giggling fit as he started tumbling head over feet beside Jack, the young biotic not even bothering to complain as she headed for the elevator, pulling his glowing form beside her. When she was passing by Shepard, Brian, and a cloaked Kasumi, Jessie swore she saw a flicker of an honest to god smile on the former convict's face.

"Wonders never cease." Jessie said once the odd pair had boarded the elevator. Brian could only shake his head in amusement at the whole scene. While he was still on the fence about it all, he was slowly starting to relax, much to Shepard's relief. "I'll meet you in the mess in ten. I need a change of clothes and a shower before I do anything else crazy."

"Can't imagine why." Kasumi sniffed the air, only to blanche slightly when Jessie glared at her as they steadily rose towards the crew deck.

"Um...doesn't this thing go any faster?" Awkwardly doing his best not to stare at either woman, Brain started after his brother the instant the elevator doors opened, but not fast enough to avoid Kasumi's knowing smirk.

"Hmm, be sure to soap up Shep, wouldn't want to miss anything would you?" Glaring, Jessie could only sigh and shake her head at the incorrigible thief.

"Gah! Not listening!" The utterly embarrassed teen shouted as he slammed his hands over his ears and dashed after Jack and his biotically tumbling brother.

**Mordin's Laboratory**

**about the same time….**

"Friend quite energetic. Overly cheerful, suggests traumatic event prior to her arrival here. Accurate assumption?" The salarian scientist asked his newfound friend and colleague, having hardly blinked when the armored primate that had managed to squeeze his considerable bulk through the small passageway.

While he had asked quite a few questions about his past, Winston hadn't minded in the slightest, and had found quite the like minded individual in the chatty salarian, in some ways at least. "Indeed Doctor Solus. My rather rambunctious colleague was a test pilot before she became Tracer."

"Ah, suggests malfunctioning prototype fighter is to blame for chronomorphic stabilization device worn at all times. Allows her powers, but if removed, is no doubt unable to interact with the world around her. Very ingenious design. Yours I imagine. Would also explain your guardian mentality when in her presence." Mordin grinned at the almost bashful look on the massive gorilla's face. "Very protective of her, easy to see."

"The closest terminology for her unique problem would be Chronal Dissociation, and as you said, the harness keeps her stable. You are most astute, but our relationship has gone both ways. I may have saved her first, but she saved me in turn over the many years of our partnership." Winston replied, displaying his far more humbler nature at the same time.

"Ah, formed artificial sibling relationship, sacred bond. Much trust, respect, camaraderie between you. Knew what that felt like, once. Long time ago now." Mordin managed to push back his old memories easily as he looked up from his current project. An approving gleam could be seen etched in his amphibian eyes. "Am glad she had you in time of need, someone else might have gotten it wrong."

"Truer words have never been spoken." Winston agreed wholeheartedly before glancing at the datapad that Mordin had set down earlier. "Forgive me for prying, but what are you working on?"

"Collector paralytic countermeasure, hope to use as defense for ground team in the near future. Would complement pheromone shielding suppressant already in use. Fools seeker swarms, but in large number, would bypass measure completely. Not as important as obvious proof of interdimensional travel, though. Provide much benefit, limitless potential for good if used wisely. But not fool myself, all technology open for abuse in wrong hands. Still, will assist in finding a way to get you back where you belong." Mordin offered in his uniquely clipped speech, giving the massive gorilla a genuine smile.

"I thank you for the assistance in this endeavor doctor. If there is any information I can-" He never got a chance to finish his thought when an all too distinctive blue blur shot through the opening door. Mordin's smile widened, knowing with near certainty what was about to happen as Lena, or Tracer as she prefered, appeared by Winston's side.

"Ello! Any good news for a pretty lady?" Tracer chipperly asked, dashing into the lab without any hesitation, flicking from experiment to experiment before pausing, staring at Mordin's uneven horns with a cocked eyebrow under her ever present goggles. "What 'appened to your other...what's-it? Get inna bad row?"

"Slow down Tracer. You truly need to forego the caffeinated beverages." Winston chuckled, even as his furry cheeks darkened at his companion's unbridled cheer.

Mordin chuckled and waved off Winston's concern before turning to Lena. "Quite alright, no need to intervene on my behalf. Am happy to answer any questions. Yes, long time ago, ran into trouble on krogan homeworld. Horn was smashed, thought it easier, safer to remove it altogether. Less risk of infection, healing improperly, less problematic. Physical reminder of...work I am trying to undo."

Tracer stared at the salarian for a good five seconds, ignoring Winston's massive facepalm behind her. "You're quite the froggy mad scientist ain't ya? No wonder you and Winston get on so well."

"Great minds think alike. Famous human saying. Quite accurate, but never imagined sapient, genetically engineered, Luna based primate would be equal. Am most glad to have met you both."

"Well ain't ya a cheeky lil' devil." Tracer saluted before flicking out of the lab just as a stern looking Miranda entered. Lena paused just long enough to look over the black and white, skintight suit before zipping away with a hurried, "Hi! Awfully snug... Bye!" Leaving a puzzled Miranda to scratch her head, Tracer stopped at a distant corner of the mess hall, her feet propped up on the table just as more of the ship's crew wandered in to join her while Jack distracted the boys at a nearby table. "Pull up a seat mates!"

Winston could only rub a giant paw down his face as Miranda turned her gaze on him next. "I take it you and the rather cheerful woman that just shot by me are our more interesting pair of guests. When I saw the report, I honestly thought it was a work of science fiction. I'm still wondering on that, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief since I can see you're quite real. Miranda Lawson, ship XO."

"Winston, former resident of Luna Base, and one of the few survivors before it was destroyed." The primate replied and held out his hand to the rather provocatively dressed operative in front of him. To his slight surprise, Miranda looked at his giant paw for a moment before extending her hand.

Mordin decided to add his two credits into the current conversation, much to Miranda's annoyance. "Also member of human supremacy terrorist organization, Cerberus, as well as head of Lazarus Project. Story quite interesting, but cannot say more due to doctor patient confidentiality."

"Thank you for sharing Doctor." Miranda said, frowning as her icy blue eyes narrowed, her tone dripping with venom.

"But you've recently started to question your loyalties." Winston stated rather than asked, and wasn't all that surprised by the shocked nod he received in turn. "A change of heart is one of the oldest tales in the stage play that is life Ms. Lawson. I'm just glad we're all on the same side. Besides, you don't seem like a bad person at heart. Now Reaper on the other hand..." Winston muttered to himself fading off into a string of very unscientific sounding language.

She was honestly at a loss for words, something which had only occurred a handful of times in her life. "I-thank you um...is it Doctor or-"

She couldn't help smirking at the polite little bow the gentle giant gave her. "Just Winston will suffice. Haven't needed anything else."

"Winston then. I must admit, you aren't what I expected. On the other hand, I never expected to be having an intelligent conversation with a giant gorilla, but having been around Commander Shepard for some time now, I've started to expect the impossible on a near daily basis."

Winston adjusted his spare set of glasses he had produced shortly after entering the lab, and gave the raven haired woman a sage nod. "You'd have fit right in with Overwatch. The stories I've heard of your drive and motivations since coming aboard remind me a great deal of many of our old brothers and sisters in arms. Not all of us were on the straight and narrow, sadly some of us still aren't, but everyone of us was dedicated to doing what we could to ensure our continued freedom and well being."

Miranda took Winston in for a moment with a curious grin. "Sounds like quite the tale, compassion, bravery, betrayal, redemption and everything in between."

Winston offered the operative a curt nod in reply. "That was our normal, just as traveling through space utilizing a form of mass effecting FTL travel, fighting an all powerful foe, is yours. That would explain the elite team of soldiers, mercenaries, thieves, hackers, and empowered individuals that you and the Commander have assembled."

"You're a quick study." Miranda replied, obviously impressed by Winston's observation.

Winston rubbed the back of his furry neck, giving the woman a humble shrug. "I do what I can Ms. Lawson."

"Miranda." She corrected him, offering him a brief smile before heading for the door.  
>"And I bet you can do quite a lot."<p>

Mordin was slightly surprised at how quickly they had gotten past the formalities. It usually took far longer for Miranda to open up to anyone, except perhaps the Commander. Normally there was a lot more terse conversation, glaring, and threats of bodily harm involved if things moved too quickly for her. "Hmm. Prefers you, have yet to see anyone use XO Lawson's first name without accompanying threat of violence. Except for perhaps where our Commander Shepard is involved."

"She is driven, motivated, and focuses all of her considerable talents on a specific goal. I know the personality type quite well. Reinhardt is a prime example of being fixated on one thing, even if he didn't have the technical genius to back it up. He was more morally motivated than intellectually driven. Even when Overwatch was shut down, he never gave up in his goals of protecting the innocent."

"Interesting, offering alternative example to disguise sympathetic feelings towards a fellow colleague. Both genetically modified, both gifted with genius level intellect, both harboring need to interact on a more intimate level to those around them, both displaying a rather odd sexual tension that-"

"What?!" Winston's massive brown eyes snapped up from the microscope he was examining, subtly trying to bend the device's now warped frame back into shape. "Uh….while she is an attractive human female, she is….just no. Not happening."

"Very well, but if you change your mind-"

"Please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't continue this line of tho-"

"-have various literature on interspecies... romance. Erogenous zones, various positions, though not too worried about allergic reaction in this case."

The brilliant ape huffed in annoyance, suddenly fixated on one of the captured Collector drones as he tried his best to ignore the grinning salarian beside him. "Interesting construction and design. Living mechanical unit. I take it this is the source of the paralytic you were trying to devise a suitable defense against? Does it target a specific species or does it not discriminate between who it targets?"

"Indeed. Ingenious, yet cruel method of capturing missing colonists. Subject is paralyzed, yet aware of everything. Has so far only targeted humans, but can no doubt affect any species in equal manner. Glaring example of knowledge and technology used for the worst of reasons. Genetic mapping to ensure safe birth of hybrid offspring on the other hand, much more benevolent intent."

Winston rubbed at his giant face, slowly dragging his paw over it. "You're not going to stop 'encouraging' are you?"

"Wish to ensure maximum trust and efficiency among team. Romantic attachments ensure all parties fight harder, more trust between individuals. No point in fighting natural instincts and desires, especially if beneficial." Mordin said with a shrug, seeing no problem with the idea personally.

"You _do _realize I am nearly five times her mass?" Winston muttered, gesturing to his bulk in quiet exasperation.

Mordin glanced up and down at his new colleague. "Really? Had not noticed. Primates and humans not so far apart on evolutionary ladder."

Winston groaned, rubbed his face again, and hung his head before finally looking up at the scientist. "Can we just focus on the task at hand?"

"Very well. Will stop if you truly are so uncomfortable with idea, will keep conversation, and intriguing implications, to self." Mordin said with a note of finally as he went back to examining several bacterial cultures. Varren Scale Itch didn't cure itself after all.

"Ah...good. Can we please do something more scientific now?" Winston all but begged in response.

"Biology, scientific study, last time I checked." A loud groan echoed through the laboratory at Mordin's seemingly casual comment. Mordin chuckled, walked around his table, and patted the primate's shoulder. At least as far as he could reach without stretching needlessly. "Any consolation, very wise not engaging at first opportunity. Respect for restraint Winston. But enough of this, have work to do."

"_Now _you want to get to work." Winston replied with a roll of his eyes.

Mordin nodded absentmindedly. "Need hobbies to allow for inspirational thought. Prefer singing, studying catalytic combustion ratios of various elements, matchmaking on the side."

"A man of many talents." Winston huffed as he picked up a datapad, eyeing the rather advanced equations for any errors. Unsurprisingly, there weren't any mistakes in the scientist's work.

"Typical of most salarian scientists. Genius even among species. Top of my class in all subjects." Mordin's voice took on a wistful sing song quality. "Am the very model of a scientist salarian."

The barest hint of a shining fang appeared as Winston grinned down at the far shorter scientist. "Let me guess...Gilbert and Sullivan?"

Mordin was impressed since few people knew of the pair outside of certain circles. "Quite well read indeed. People don't appreciate classics anymore."

"I had a very good teacher before the lunar colony was destroyed."

"Teacher died during incident on Luna." Winston only nodded his head. Mordin confidently nodded back before turning back to the project in front of him. "Had excellent pupil, would be proud of you."

"He was, and I hope he still does." The ape said, his mind back on that colony as he cradled his mentor's head as he spoke his last. That day had been the worst one in his life, but it had set him on the path of finding his way to Earth, of joining Overwatch, and becoming the man he knew would have made his mentor proud.

"Belief in afterlife? Not unusual, _unexpected_, but not unusual." After a few moments of comfortable silence, Mordin set down his tools and looked up into the primate's face. "Never think to replace lost loved one, but good teacher, and listener, should you need one. Myself, disheartened by total lack of vocalist partner for harmonies, other fine aural works requiring two or more participants."

Winston chuckled at the good hearted alien, giving Mordin a gentle pat on his slender shoulders. "I'm not much for singing myself, but Tracer has been known to carry a tune every now and again."

"Will have to speak to her at earliest convenience then. Requires her to remain stationary for more than two point five seconds of course." Mordin and Winston shared a small chuckle at that. Despite their vastly different backgrounds, Mordin had found a companion in the unlikeliest of places. However they had arrived, Mordin had already grown fond of the odd pair and their charges that had dropped into this reality by means unknown. Winston too had taken an instant liking to the energetic scientist, despite his need to tease him about romantic interactions.

Winston happily nodded at that, strangely content in this profoundly odd setting as he returned to his examination of the tissue sample under the microscope. "This is rather startlingly complex. A neurotoxin and a stasis field of sorts in one? You weren't kidding about them being needlessly cruel. Have you tried to counteract the toxin portion at the least with some kind of catalyzing agent? The stasis field at least would be easier to neutralize with the proper application of an energy disruption, low yield so as not to damage the victim of course."

"Bit more complicated. Collectors _very _advanced. Need an advanced method of neutralizing agent, or preventing swarm from targeting team in first place. "

"Ah, right...sorry, got excited there for a minute."

"Happens to the best of us. No need to apologize for exuberance, try, try again. If unsuccessful repeat previous two steps. Unless accidental biological contamination, then try and find cure for that first. Repeat steps as necessary."

"Something tells me you've done this before."

Mordin chuckled in response. "Long story. Might share later. Want to test a few theories based with this new approach."

**The Mess Hall**

While Winston was making friends, and Brian was watching his brother manage to stuff his face while upside down and giggling with laughter, Tracer was doing the same over a mug of hot cocoa, courtesy of the gallery's 'evil mastermind' as Kasumi had nicknamed Mess Sergeant Rupert Gardner. Tracer had made an instant friend in the kleptomaniac, despite the fact she skirted the morality line. And she wasn't the only one as more than a few of the _Normandy's _crew had gathered around the chronologically challenged blinkster.

"You don't look so tough...kinda squishy. Fast, but squishy." The krogan rumbled, a sly grin on his scaly face as he stood over the petite girl.

"Keep it up Grunt, I'd pay good credits to see a ninety pound girl wipe the deck with your humpbacked ass." Zaeed muttered, leaning against the counter by Gardener as he sipped a mug of coffee.

"You never say that about me Zaeed. Here I thought we had something special going on." Kasumi chortled as she flickered in and out of sight by the table.

"I'm old enough to be your guddamned _grandfather _girl. That's just disturbin'." The mercenary managed to spit out, torn between being mortified and outraged at the insinuation. "On the other hand, might as well enjoy life while you're still breathing." Zaeed grinned at the surprised yelp when he slapped at a shimmering patch of air next to him.

"That's a right scary image. Might have nightmares now." The odd pair chuckled as the blinkster took a sip from her own mug before nodding to Grunt. Tracer merely grinned back and set down her mug before addressing the juvenile youth. "Speed's all ya need. Ya can't hit what ya can't catch. Makes whittling down even the toughest blokes quite easy actually. Take you for instance big fella." Tracer blurred for an instant before gently tapping on Grunt's head crest and then blurring back into her seat across from him. "Ya might want to check your shiny armor."

Apparently the entire crew deck had suddenly come down with a bad case of death wish fever as they burst into laughter at the slight alteration Tracer had made to Grunt's armor. Neither of which is a great idea where a pubescent krogan is involved. Especially when said krogan is a super soldier, even among his own species. Not too surprisingly, Timmy was the loudest of all before Jack jerked his biotically glowing form behind a bulkhead as Grunt turned his massive, frustrated head towards the noise.

"Awww, are you happy to see her Grunt?" Kasumi managed to get out between light giggles. Turning to the grinning Tracer, the thief grinned in response, her eyes alight underneath the folds of her hood. "I knew there was a reason why I liked you from the start Lena."

"Least now your armor will stand out." Zaeed grunted, and did his best to keep a straight face when he looked over and saw what Tracer had done to the giant krogan. "Gun grey is out of style anyhow."

"What the-" Grunt looked down to see the giant smiley face decorating the front of his chest piece, drawn in permanent black marker. "Nice trick. Hehe. I like you pint size. If you share the secret of your trick with me, I promise I won't smash you."

Tracer shrugged, offering up yet another cheery smile, even if it didn't quite reach her sparkling green eyes this time. "Sorry." Kasumi was the first to notice the barely perceptible shift in the girl's gaze and had a feeling her story, whatever it was, wasn't quite all sunshine and rainbows.

Grunt was predictably ignorant. "I'm being... nice." The krogan practically spit the last word out like a rancid varren steak.

"Huh oh, the giant turtle looks mad..." Timmy whispered as both Brian and Jack had their fingers to their lips as they did their best to keep the overly curious floating boy out of the krogan's line of sight.

"Looks like Hell finally froze over then." Zaeed muttered as he raised his mug, only to find it missing from his hand. "Krogan being nice? What's next, bloody varren babysitters?" Zaeed shrugged. "Considering I'm being paid by a woman that came back from the dead, anythin's possible 'suppose."

"Aww. They'd just have to work out the whole ripping your loved ones to shreds thing first." Kasumi flickered behind Grunt, managing to set Zaeed's mug on his crest so gently the krogan didn't even notice. At least he didn't until it shattered on the floor when Grunt turned his head, only to see a faint blue shimmer where Kasumi had just been standing.

_Hehe, little fella is just a tyke, a bloomin' big one at that. _Lena filed that interesting bit of banter away before she turned to face Grunt again, shrugging her shoulders. "Like you, I have my talents, can't share 'em either mate." The cheerful woman replied.

Grunt cocked his side to the side like a massive confused puppy. "But... I'm being _nice_...My Battlemaster says that works better than smashing. Most of the time." Tracer's mischievous smirk was all it took for the krogan to back away from the table and look ready to flip it over, despite being triple bolted to the deck.

Meanwhile, Timmy floated, riveted to the scene before him as he clung to the corner of the elevator facing the mess despite his brother's best efforts to tug him free. "Oh oh oh! This is gonna be good! Like when Winston-"

"Shut up Timmy!" Brian groaned as he placed a foot against the wall and pulled harder.

"Yeah, just be quiet and I'll..." Jack trailed off, uncertain what she _could _do to bribe Timmy's silence.

"Read me a bedtime story?" Timmy asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes that had Jack backpedaling almost immediately.

"No. Anything else _but _that. Need help with some arson, hijacking, I'm your girl. But I _don't _do kiddie crap."

"Party pooper." With a sigh of exasperation Jack dropped the pouting boy gently to the deck and blocked him with her arms before he could run towards the seriously pissed off krogan less than ten meters away. He immediately gave her a look of defiance and reattached himself to the elevator housing.

"Timmy…." Brian groaned, and ran a hand down his face in exasperation before going back to trying to pull Timmy off the elevator door.

More focused on the teenaged alien in front of her than the one currently trying to remove his brother from the side of the lift, Lena gave Grunt a playful wink. "Aww, don't be so grumpy little guy!" Tracer snickered into her hand, unable to help herself as an image of Grunt with a baby rattle popped into her head. Despite his imposing size, he looked so cute at that moment, at least in Lena's opinion anyway.

That was a mistake as Grunt started forward, his blank look of confusion forgotten as it gave way to a snarling growl. "I am _not _GRUMPY! I AM KROGAN!"

"Yeah!"

Just as Tracer prepared to blink away, someone else stepped in. "Grunt! Stand down or you _will_ be answering to Shepard." Jacob said as he physically put himself between the krogan and Tracer.

Even if he didn't need to, it still got his point across as Grunt walked away, muttering angrily with every step. "Just wanted to know her stupid trick, didn't need it anyway..."

"Awwww."

"Now that's what I call a guddamn tantrum." Zaeed said with a laugh as he grabbed a plate of chow and headed for the elevator after Grunt. "Hold the lift you pouty little sh-Ello..." Zaeed muttered with a wave as he passed Jack and the boys. "Hey Jack. Never thought you'd be one to adopt."

"Shut up old man." Jack grumbled in reply.

"Hey, mister?" Timmy looked up to Grunt, forgetting his attempt to cling to the lift altogether.

Grunt stared down at the small mammal speaking to him with a look of confusion. "Ah, what?"

"How come you're so ugly?"

"What?!" Grunt growled menacingly, a dark blue aura emanating from him as he let his biotics flare to life.

"Come on, don't get your panties in a twist mate." Zaeed snarked, nearly bursting into laughter as he dragged the massive krogan back into the elevator.

Once he and Grunt were gone, Jack and Brian let out massive hidden sighs of relief, before a twisted smile pulled at the biotic's lips. "I've got an idea...how would you two like to meet a _real _princess..."

"Really?!"

"On a spaceship...a princess? I find that hard to believe." Brian said with a roll of his eyes.

"What, you never seen Star Wars kid?"

"That's an old sci fi movie, this is too _weird _to be a movie." Brian countered dryly, "This seems more like a video game."

"Wise- just follow me." Jack muttered as she stomped over to Miranda's quarters and let herself in unannounced with the boys in tow. "Hey Cheerleader, got a surprise for you, and you're stuck with 'em!"

"Wow, that ah, suit is _really..._snug." If Brian stared any harder at an irked looking Miranda sitting behind her office desk, Jack was sure he'd have gotten a nose bleed. He was a young teenager after all, and Jack had had experience with her fair share of idiot guys his age.

As it was, the 'psychotic biotic' found it hard to keep a straight face at the mortified expression on Miranda's as she promptly dashed out of the room. "You got kids around, Cheerleader. Might want to change your suit. Something less perky maybe."

"I thought you said she was a Princ-" The rest of Timmy's words were cut off by the sound of Miranda's door closing along with Jack frying the holo lock with a Warp and walked over to wait for the elevator with a massive grin.

"You know, I _really _should help her out, but a little time outside her comfort zone might actually be a good thing." After staring at the door for a moment, Jacob sat down and nodded in greeting to the spiky haired woman across from him, an amused gleam on his face even as a part of him considered going to Miranda's aid. "Sorry about Grunt's behavior Miss. The krogan are warriors from the day they're born to the day they die. Little different in Grunt's case though, how to fight is _literally _all he knows. It makes sense he'd want to know how you pull off your teleporting trick."

"Can't blame 'im for being curious though." Tracer replied before showing the first sign of anything less than perpetual cheer as she looked into her mug of cocoa. Jacob and Kasumi leaned closer, curiosity plain as day on their faces as the thief flickered into sight yet again. "Long story short, wasn't no picnic. Test pilot I was, a bloody good one too, got to fly all the best toys. Last gig had me in the cockpit of a new prototype, right off the bleedin' rack. Teleport capable, made all the previous beauties seem like snails by comparison."

"But I take it it didn't end well." Jacob stated, and leaned back slightly in his seat, but his gaze never moved away from Lena's green eyes.

"Way to state the obvious Jacob." Kasumi quipped, even as she too found herself entranced by the woman's tale. It wasn't everyday you had a visitor from another reality sitting not ten feet away after all.

"Nope. Hit the switch, and next thing I know, I'm seven months along, and a soddin' ghost to boot. Not one to cry over burnt toast though." Tracer muttered with a cheery shrug. Neither Kasumi or Jacob felt it appropriate to call her out on her bullshit smile. They could see it had shaken her up pretty badly. "Couldn't touch nothin', walked through walls, and I kept on blinkin' out of time and space, 'cording to Winston. If he 'adn't of rigged up this here harness, I'd be nonexistent right 'bout now."

"Instead you wind up as one of the fastest women I've ever seen. Not to mention one hell of a shot. I saw the security vids from before Shepard showed up. C-Sec report says you got no less than fourteen wounded officers and civilians to safety." Jacob said, amazement easily heard in his voice as his mind flicked back to the security video EDI had managed to pull. It had been pretty impressive, needless to say, even by his standards.

"While providing the girls and boys in blue cover with one hand and dragging their buddies out of trouble with the other." Kasumi said with an impressed smirk. "Might have to go for a career change after this, if you ever join C-Sec."

"Reaper don't discriminate who he shoots, figured I'd lend 'em a hand seein' as how they was just doin' their jobs. 'Sides, those pretty blue squid ladies should never have a reason to frown, let alone take a right nasty piece 'o shrapnel."

"No argument here. Gotta be the first time I've ever seen somebody get asari fever in a fire fight though. Still, that piece of work you were gunning after gave me the chills, especially when he took down Shepard by holding the kid. Guy fights dirty like that, shoulda taken two to the head a long time ago. Woulda gladly delivered them myself if I'd been there." Jacob hissed, his hand clenching in anger at the idea someone would do something so underhanded. He understood why someone would take hostages, and that was bad enough, but using a kid as a shield? That was a new low even after all the shit he'd seen for himself.

"And I hear Garrus almost lost his head, probably from staring at that half naked sniper. Saw the trophy he got from her, might have to...borrow it if Garrus stops fondling it for two minutes. I swear he's going to rub the shine off." Kasumi replied, just suppressing the shudder that wanted to pass through her lithe frame at the very idea that someone could out snipe Garrus. That was like saying Sol would implode. It just didn't happen. And yet, the aptly named Widowmaker, according to Lena, had nearly done just that to Garrus.

"Can't say I blame him though mate. I've handled Widow's Kiss a few times, but she normally got it back when we was done dancin'." Lena giggled, her earlier funk forgotten as she met Kasumi's amused gaze. "Widow ain't so bad though, just been dealt a bad hand that one."

Jacob wasn't convinced, and made his opinion known. "She tried to kill you. Twelve times. In forty-five seconds. I counted while you were getting the wounded out of the line of fire." Jacob admitted with a slightly embarrassed shrug.

"Yep, but she wasn't always such a bad bloke. Used to be like us decent folks. Talon changed that by playin' with her noggin'. Ran counter to us Overwatch, Talon did. Came 'bout after the Omnic Crisis. Tried to take advantage of the bleedin' chaos those tinnies left behind when the smoke cleared."

Jacob whistled in disbelief before finding his voice. "They brainwashed her? Damn. And she's still trying to put a bullet in your head?"

A distant look passed through Lena's green eyes, even as she proudly nodded. "Fifty-seven, wait, fifty-eight times, best I can reckon. She's yet to hit me though, strange that. Law of probabilities an' what not."

"Or you're just that good." Kasumi replied and chuckled at the playful grin on Tracer's face.

"Thought had crossed my mind, but I ain't that arrogant mate." The fact she had kept count of their previous engagements made Jacob and Kasumi doubt that.

"Well, you ever go up against her again, the only thing I'd count on if I was you is that." Jacob made a point of gesturing towards her chrono stabilization generator. "That, and those dual beauties of yours. Might have to have your friend make me a couple. Forty rounds a piece in two seconds. Not bad."

"They chew through clips like Winston goes through a salad buffet." Lena replied with a shrug. It was a small price to pay in her opinion.

"Might make a suggestion then. Trade 'em in for one of our submachine guns. Ten thousand rounds an ammo block. Only trade off is you need to vent heat after every 'clip'." Jacob pondered the spiky haired brunette for a moment before grinning widely. "But I think I might be able to fix that for you..."

"Nah, I'm plenty happy with Bagger and Tagger." The former pilot didn't feel the need to tell Jacob, or anyone else for that matter, that her suit and her weapons were linked. Winston had made sure to supply her with weapons that drew on the same power that kept her physically stable, but at the cost that if her harness failed, her submachine guns did as well, leaving her completely defenseless until the generator recharged. Unlimited ammo _did _come as a high point though.

Jacob wasn't aware of this though, and managed to keep a straight face as he made his offer for an upgrade. "Hey, I get it, got my personal preferences too. Not gonna mess with your babies, but some extra firepower never hurt. I'm talking some quality backup weapons. How does double the ammo at the same reload speed sound?"

"Done." She didn't even have to think about that offer. She wouldn't be using anything he gave her, but Lena didn't want to be rude. _Although, backup weapons ain't a bad idea. Might have avoided that bit of trouble in the museum earlier._ Hiding behind a display case while her generator kicked back on hadn't been her idea of a good time, especially with Reaper having almost put down Winston about the same time. _Woulda loved to see the look on his face if I'd had something 'sides foul language to toss at 'im._

"You'd have made a scary good arms dealer Jacob." Kasumi chuckled before disappearing from sight and slipping away without a sound. She had heard all she had needed to at the moment. Coming to their table, she already had a great deal of respect for Lena Oxton. Walking away, the thief found she could come to like the cheery brit quite a bit over the coming days.

"Thought you'd like that Tracer." Jacob replied, ignoring Kasumi's playful jab, unable to suppress the grin on his face if his life had depended on it. "I think you're gonna fit in with the rest of the crew just fine."

"The only thing she's going to be doing is staying in quarantine if she and her companion don't report for their physical examinations." Jacob paled when the imposing shipboard doctor somehow got the drop on him. He turned and saw Doctor Chakwas was standing over his shoulder, her arms crossed and her greenish-blue eyes focused solely on the cheerful brunette. "We can do this one of two ways my dear-" She never got a chance to finish as Tracer flashed by the doctor, only to appear by the infirmary door.

"Whatcha ya waitin' on doc? A written invite?" Tracer called to the elderly woman before disappearing into the infirmary once the door opened wide enough to admit her.

"Someone's overly cheerful today." Chakwas muttered, despite the gleam in her eyes.

"Try _always_." Jacob told the grinning veteran doctor. "She's a good kid doc. She's had it rough like most of us have in some way or another, but you'd never know it to look at her." Jacob caught the faintest blue flicker out of the corner of his eye, and the distinct feeling of something whacking the back of his head, only to glance over at an innocently whistling Tracer in the medbay.

"I like her already Mr. Taylor. Maybe I should take a look at you for a possible concussion as well?" Karin made it a point to lean in close, as if she were about to do just that, despite the tell-tale smirk pulling at her lips.

"Ha ha. You're _hilarious _Doc." Jacob sarcastically retorted before shooting her a grin. "Next time she tries that, I might have to slap her with a Stasis. See how she handles _that_." Seeing Tracer give him a challenging grin, Jacob started to activate his biotics and suddenly found her half finished mug of cocoa in his glowing hand. "Oh I am so gonna make you pay, Oxton." Jacob chuckled, unable to stay mad at her even if he had wanted to.

"Good luck mate." Tracer snarked, openly admitting her guilt after flashing back to Jacob's side, her hands on her hips.

Chakwas had had all she could stand as she laughed at the incorrigible pair, the belly deep guffaws bending her over at the overly playful antics of the young woman and her current 'target'. "You certainly bring a liveliness to this ship my dear. I don't think I've had such a good laugh in years. And your accent, it's like a fresh breath of air. I haven't heard a jovial bit of cockney in ages."

"Never saw the point of speakin' any way but one's that's natural ta me." Tracer replied and blew at the strand of spikes hanging over her right eye.

Chakwas nodded sagely at the younger woman. "A good way to go through life, being true to who you are. Now come along, let's get this over with, then you can go back to pestering the crew."

"Yes marm!" Lena cheerfully replied and saluted for emphasis.

"Watch it. I'm not quite that old-" Karin started.

"To be my grand mum?" Tracer finished for her.

Undeterred, Chakwas made a show of checking her omni-tool, as well as what little information she had already gathered on the cheeky girl. Most of which Winston had provided, but Karin didn't feel the need to share that. "I see you're in need of multiple vaccinations and immunity boosters." The look in her greenish-blue eyes was darkly mischievous as they flicked up to glance at Lena. "Shall we begin?"

Tracer visibly gulped as she did her best to return Chakwas' firm gaze. "Blimey, quite the sawbones you are... Good thing I like ya, otherwise you'd _never _catch me."

"I might not be able to Tracer, but I know a few friends who'd be up for the challenge. Or I could talk to Winston. I'm sure he could devise some means to contain you. And I will have you know I _never _saw bones...I have a laser scalpel for that." Chakwas dead panned, obviously trying not to enjoy the girl's wide eyed look _too_ much.

"Ya would too. Blighted cheating that is, but you're the doc. I'll behave me'self. 'Sides, Mercy would kill me if I didn't go through all the pokin' and proddin' like a good chap." At Karin's curious look, Lena elaborated. "Old Overwatch pal of mine. Bleedin' genius doctor, made quite a few nifty advances in med tech, no sense of humor. Swiss." She offered by way of explanation.

"Well I'm sure you'll find that many ancient stereotypes are still just as accurate as ever. Now stop stalling miss, and if it's at all possible... Hold. Still." Tracer saluted with two fingers to her forehead before disappearing into the infirmary yet again and promptly sat down on the examination table. Chakwas could only shake her head and laugh as she followed the cheerful brunette at a far more natural pace. Whatever happened from here, things promised to be far more interesting.


End file.
